Zoo Siab
- Teeb meem cheb hauv qab daim ntaub pua tsev
- Koj yuav tsum rov qab li cas?
- Kev sab laj raws li kev xaiv
Nws yog lig, ob leeg Henry thiab Marnie tau nkees; Marnie snapped nws xav Henry yuav tau pab nrog cov menyuam da dej es tsis txhob "dag ib ncig ntawm nws lub computer." Henry tiv thaiv nws tus kheej sai, hais tias nws tau qhwv qee yam rau kev ua haujlwm, thiab ntxiv rau thaum nws pab nrog menyuam yaus Marnie ib txwm saib ntawm nws lub xub pwg micromanaging nws ua dab tsi. Kev sib cav tau txais kev txaj muag thiab npau taws sai, nrog Henry dhia tawm thiab pw hauv chav pw.
Tag kis sawv ntxov, lawv tau ntsib hauv chav ua noj. "Thov txim txog nag hmo." "Kuv thiab." "Peb nyob zoo?" "Tseeb." “Puag?” "Okay." Lawv pleev. Lawv ua tiav Npaj txav mus.
Tab sis tsis yog, lawv tsis ua tiav. Thaum lawv tuaj yeem ua rau lub siab nqig dej, yam lawv tsis tau ua yog rov qab tham txog cov teeb meem. Nov yog qee txoj hauv kev nkag siab - lawv ntshai tias kev nthuav tawm cov ncauj lus ntxiv yuav tsuas yog pib lwm qhov kev sib cav. Thiab qee zaum nyob rau nruab hnub, nag hmo kev sib cav tsis yog tiag tiag txog qhov tseem ceeb tab sis ob qho tib si vwm thiab rhiab vim tias lawv nkees thiab nyuab siab.
Teeb meem cheb hauv qab daim ntaub pua tsev
Tab sis lawv yuav tsum tau ceev faj tsis txhob siv qhov kev xav zoo li lawv lub neej ntawd. Txhawm rau cheem teeb meem nyob rau hauv cov ntaub pua tsev txhais tau tias cov teeb meem tsis tuaj yeem daws tau, thiab ib txwm npaj kom taws nrog tsuas yog qhov tsim nyog ntawm kev tsaus ntuj hmo ntuj, lossis cawv me ntsis. Thiab vim tias cov teeb meem mus tsis tau daws, qhov kev tsis txaus siab tsim yog li thaum muaj kev sib cav tsis zoo, nws yooj yim rau nws tawm ntawm txoj kab sai sai; dua lawv thawb nws, ntxiv ua rau lub voj voog tsis zoo tsis kawg.
Txoj hauv kev kom nres lub voj voog yog, ntawm chav kawm, mus tawm tsam koj lub siab, nce qib, thawb tawm tsam koj qhov kev ntxhov siab, thiab ua rau muaj kev pheej hmoo tham txog qhov teeb meem tom qab thaum qhov kev xav tau zoo. Qhov no tau tig rov qab, lossis qhov uas John Gottman tau hu hauv nws qhov kev tshawb fawb ntawm khub niam txiv, rov qab los thiab kho dua. Yog tias koj tsis ua, nws yog ib qho yooj yim heev kom siv nrug deb kom tsis txhob muaj teeb meem; kev sib raug zoo tau ploj mus vim tias koj ob leeg ib txwm xav tias koj taug kev los ntawm kev xav hauv kuv lub tiaj thiab tsis tuaj yeem qhib thiab ncaj ncees.
Hmoov zoo, peb txhua tus muaj peev xwm ua tau zoo li rov qab mus rau lwm qhov kev sib raug zoo sab nraum peb qhov kev sib raug zoo. Yog tias cov npoj yaig hauv cov neeg ua haujlwm sib tham zoo li chim siab los ntawm cov lus hais uas peb tau hais, peb feem ntau tuaj yeem mus ntsib nws tom qab lub rooj sib tham thiab thov txim uas ua rau nws mob siab rau, piav qhia peb lub hom phiaj thiab kev txhawj xeeb, thiab daws cov teeb meem uas yuav nyob ntev. Hauv kev sib raug zoo txhua qhov no dhau los ua qhov nyuaj dua vim qhov tseem ceeb ntawm kev sib raug zoo, peb tau qhib ntau dua thiab tsis muaj kev tiv thaiv, vim yog qhov yooj yim nplawm ntawm cov menyuam yaus raug mob.
Koj yuav tsum rov qab li cas?
Lub hauv paus pib rau kev rov qab los yog sim ua tib lub lag luam, daws teeb meem lub siab. Nov yog qhov uas Henry hais tom qab kev khawm nws tseem xav tham txog kev pab Marnie nrog cov menyuam thaum pw thiab txog nws txoj kev xav ntawm kev tswj tsis tau. Peb tsis tas yuav tham txog tam sim no thaum peb tab tom npaj mus ua haujlwm, nws hais tias, tab sis tej zaum thaum sawv ntxov hnub Saturday thaum cov menyuam saib TV. Qhov no muab sijhawm rau Marnie, thiab Henry los sau lawv cov kev xav.
Thiab thaum lawv sib ntsib rau hnub Saturday, lawv xav ua raws li qhov xav tau ua lag luam zoo li lub siab xav tias lawv yuav muaj haujlwm ua. Nkawd ob leeg yuav tsum tsom mus rau teeb meem daws lawv cov kev txhawj xeeb, thiab zam kev poob rau hauv lawv lub siab lub ntsws thiab tiv thaiv lawv txoj haujlwm thiab sib cav txog qhov uas qhov tseeb yog qhov yog. Tej zaum lawv yuav tsum ua kom luv - hais ib teev ib nrab - txhawm rau pab lawv txav mus tom ntej thiab tsis poob mus rau yav dhau los. Thiab yog tias nws kub dhau lawm, lawv yuav tsum pom zoo tso tseg thiab txias.
Yog tias qhov no zoo li dhau dhau, lawv kuj tuaj yeem sim sau tawm kev xav. Qhov kom zoo dua ntawm no yog tias lawv muaj sijhawm los tsim koj cov kev xav, thiab tuaj yeem suav nrog thiab txo qhov lawv xav tias lwm tus yuav xav li cas. Ntawm no Henry hais tias nws tsis tau sim thuam Marnie, thiab tsis txaus siab rau txhua yam uas nws ua rau menyuam yaus. Ntawm no Marnie hais tias nws nkag siab tias Henry yuav tsum txheeb xyuas nws email thaum hmo ntuj rau kev ua haujlwm, thiab nws tsis txhais tau tias yog micromanaging tab sis nws muaj nws tus kheej ib txwm ua nrog cov menyuam thiab muaj lub sijhawm nyuaj tso lawv. Ob leeg tuaj yeem nyeem dab tsi lwm tus tau sau, thiab tom qab ntawv sib tham los daws qhov kev daws teeb meem uas ua haujlwm tau rau ob leeg.
Kev sab laj raws li kev xaiv
Thaum kawg, yog tias lawv tau yooj yim dhau los thiab cov kev sib tham no tsuas yog nyuaj dhau, lawv yuav xav ua txawm tias luv luv ntawm kev sab laj. Tus kws pab tswv yim tuaj yeem muab thaj chaw nyab xeeb rau kev sib tham, tuaj yeem pab lawv kawm paub kev sib txuas lus thiab lees paub thaum qhov kev sib tham mus dhau ntawm chav kawm thiab pab lawv rov qab mus rau qhov qub. Nws tseem tuaj yeem nug cov lus nug nyuaj txog cov teeb meem hauv qab uas yog ib feem ntawm cov teeb meem sib dhos.
Thiab xav txog qhov no raws li kev paub txuj ci yog qhov muaj txiaj ntsig thiab noj qab nyob zoo. Thaum kawg nws tsis yog txog sijhawm pw lossis leej twg yog tus txhaum, tab sis peb yuav ua li cas, ua ob peb tug, kawm kom muaj qhov zoo ib yam, daws teeb meem kev sib tham uas tso cai rau lawv hnov, hnov qhov tseeb thiab muaj kev txhawj xeeb tau daws qhov zoo .
Teeb meem tuaj yeem tshwm sim ib txwm, tab sis muaj peev xwm tso lawv mus so yog tus yuam sij rau kev sib raug zoo.